I added something to my new year’s resolutions this year, right up there with ‘be kind to others’ I put ‘be kind to myself’. I am a little ashamed to admit this but it was a salesclerk who made me realize that I wasn’t as kind to myself as I thought I was.
I was visiting in the city over the holidays and decided to take advantage of all the sales. In one store my friend pointed to a pretty sweater. I liked it very much but told her that I didn’t have enough special occasions to wear it to. The salesclerk overheard us and promptly told me that didn’t matter, I should wear it for myself. Wear something special on a day when no one but myself would see it? What a concept.
That made me realize that I had become one of those women (and there are many) who saves the best for others; someone who worries more about what others think of me than what I think of myself. Any old sweatpants and sweatshirt is good enough for me at home: the nice things are to be saved for going out in the public.
Why are so many of us so willing to settle for ‘good enough’? Don’t we want to be able to look in the mirror and feel good about how we look on any day? Do we think we are just not worthy of that nice outfit?
When I came home I went through my closet and found some nice outfits that had hardly been worn, I had been ‘saving’ them. I also found a lot of clothes that I didn’t like very much but had been wearing them because they were ‘good enough’.
When I sat down and really thought about it I could see that clothes were not the only area in my life where I would settle for good enough. I would do things like not making my favorite desert unless I was going to have company or not using my pretty mugs just for myself. There was a beautiful leather journal that a friend had given me that I had not written in as well; maybe I had been thinking that my thoughts and words were not worthy of a lovely book like that. My friend had thought they were, so why didn’t I ?
I will work on those things in time but for now those ‘good enough’ clothes are packed away and I will wear things that make me feel good about myself. And when I put that pretty sweater on I will remind myself that the commercial is right; I am worth it .