Annexing US possessions

Dear Editor,

As the leader of a new political party, New Conservative Party of Canada (NCPC), I will order our Boys and Girls Scouts, our Mounties and our armed forces to annex Alaska, Guam, Puerto Rico, the US Virgin Islands, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Michigan, the Great Lakes (renamed: The Canadian Great Lakes), and the St. Lawrence Seaway (renamed: The Sir John A. McDonald Seaway).

This military intervention is “necessary” to protect our national interests. Our “Manifest Destiny” to to occupy North America for Canadians. We are “entitled” to acquire more land (Lebensraum) because we are an “exceptional people” (we’re God’s chosen people, and we are obligated to save Americans from themselves).

Many Americans want to have our public health care system because Canadian health care is a “right”, not a privilege, and they won’t don’t go broke obtaining it.

Our new friends will love our educational system too (we have higher academic standards) because they haven’t been undermined (not yet) by self-serving politicians and clergy.

They will love the way we have protected our environment although the same folks have been trying to undermine our pristine forests, rivers, streams, mountains, etc. (money talks) for decades. For example, the renewal of coal mining operations on the eastern slopes of the Canadian Rockies despite unanimous opposition from ranchers, farmers, environmentalists, the tourist industry, etc., and allowing for the hunting of endangered species like cougars, grizzlies, bobcats, lynx, etc.

They will also like that our judicial system hasn’t been bought (not yet) by billionaires (like Donald Trump has done).

Our new neighbours will also like our elections that have not been bought (not yet) by PACs (political actions committees and billionaires), and our election campaigns last 30-35 days, compared to US elections that occurred every two years costing billions of dollars.

They will also like that our local governments haven’t been taken over by partisan politics (not yet anyway). Just look at how chaotic and non-functional they have become south of the border.

Yes, many Americans will ‘love’ to be annexed by our wonderful government with its democratic parliamentary system.

The joys of having more than two political parties to choose from, but we will probably have to build a wall (Trump will pay for it, of course) to keep out the millions of Americans who will want to migrate north to the “Promise Land”.

Oh, and our new citizens will love CPP and OAS because they won’t have to worry that political and religious zealots will try to undermine our social safety network like we see every year in America (Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid) Not yet anyway.

And—they will love that their tax money isn’t being wasted on expensive military toys (fighter planes tanks, subs and multi-billion dollar aircraft carriers, etc.) at the expense of public education, public health care, social programs and pensions. Hallelujah!

George Thatcher
Olds, Alta.

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